It was at the early hours of today,
after the breakfast,
I decided to retreat to the bedroom and just stay alone,
I needed to do some readings,
send mails to some folks,
watch some tutorial videos,
work on some stuffs and so on.
Yes,the internet connection was on,
my eyes glued to the phone’s screen,
had to surf the net.
I was already engrossed in these when I heard a knock at the door,
and almost before saying
“enter,the door is not locked”,
the person opened and entered,
I reluctantly withdrew from what I was doing to check on who entered.
It was my beautiful sister – Grace,
she was holding some items which I wasn’t able to fix out what they were at that moment,
I got my eyes fixed to the screen again,to continue what I was doing.
“Brother Mayowa,can you please help me in loosing my hair?”,
it was as if my eardrum was giving a wrong information to my cerebrum,
that statement resounded in my ears,
(did Grace just asked if I could help loose her hair?,
it sounded weird,
I was almost sending her away,
“how will I help undo her hair?”,I had thought foolishly.
But something was telling me to be calm,
it’s shouldn’t be a problem doing that,
most of the time,I do complement her beautiful hairdo,
for crying out loud,this is the girl I’m always ready to tell everyone who cares to hear of how greatly I love,
then why should helping her undo her hair be a kindof abomination.
Maybe I saw it awkward because of some theories and ignorantly swallowed mentality.
“How will a man be loosing hair for a woman?” –
“you help your wife loose her hair?”
(haaa!,brother has eaten vegetable “efo” oo),
“you even help your wife in the kitchen?,
you mean you cook?,wash plates?,
haaa!,you even help back the baby?”
(at last,they’ve gotten this brother,his wife has bewitched him).
Hehehekikiki!,it is you they’ve gotten my dear,
in fact,you’ve ignorantly bewitched yourself and set your home on fire with this ungodly ideology you’re carrying about.
That man you see over there,doing all those things to relief and help his wife is wiser
(he is the type of man I call the 1st Peter 3vs7 student).
Men that know they ain’t only meant for the sitting room and the other room,
true helper for their wife.
So,you call yourself an husband,
and because of the saying that you’re the head,
you only sit at the sitting room,
watching the T.V. or peruzing the newspaper while your wife – the mother of your child (I shake my head for una) is over there working out life out of herself,
as she’s using one hand to wash,
she’s using the other to sweep,
she’s mindful of the soup she’s cooking,
she remember you’ll yell if the kitchen cabinet isn’t clean to the extent of reflecting you –
now,she’s thinking of rushing over to cleaning that,
Benita – your nine months old daughter has just woken from sleep,and she’s inside the bedroom crying,
and all you could do is calling on your wife,
you mean she should go carry her?!
(kukuma kill her oo!,you hear,
someborriz daughter maanii fah!…
come closer,tell me – was it actually a wife you wanted when you proposed to her or it was a slave you needed?),
your marriage will just be two years next month and your wife of 30years of age is looking older than her age already,
she now looks like your 50years old mother,
you now find her less attractive,
you don’t even love hanging out with her anymore,
the last time you did,
Joseph – the friend you had during your service year at Minna met you at the supermarket and exclaimed
wow!,it’s quite an age oo, –
finally,I know the mother of this my wonderful friend today,
you actually look much like mummy oo” he said,
as he bowed to greet the ‘mummy’ “good evening ma…”,
you didn’t even know how to explain to him that she isn’t your mother but your wife,
the scene was embarrassingly funny.
Mr. ‘head of the home’,
you caused all these oo bro,
helping your wife in the house chores isn’t a taboo abegii,
watching over the kids to relief your wife of the stress will not kuku make you less responsible.
That woman is to be your helper,
not your slave,
not that she works herself out while you stay almost idle,
you guys are to support eachother nioo.
Don’t turn yourself to a roaring lion in the house kee,
your children cannot even play around you,
not to talk of play with you,
they can’t climb on your shoulders to do ‘eshin kulumba’ (sitting on your shoulders while you carry them around),
they cannot play with your cheek and do ‘wuke wuke’ (you playfully pump your cheek while they try bursting it),
they can’t put their mouth on your tummy to make some funny sounds,
your own type of spirituality doesn’t play with your wife abii?,
it is only bible study and night vigil,
doing pillow fight and tickling her to make her laugh to stupor is to you carnal and worldly koi?
(kontinuu…you’ll tell me who taught you that,and the part of the bible you read it from…you hear),
you are always frowning up and down like a raging wolf – seeking for somebody to devour
(may you be delivered oo).
Don’t just be a father – be a daddy,
don’t just be an husband – be a darling.
some men don’t even pray,
‘they don’t know how to’,
it is either they’re dozing during the family’s devotion
(and the kids would have laugh tired…hehehekikiki…and the wife will now be like,”daddy waa,emaa tin sunn…”)
or they’re snoring inside the bedroom and refuses to join the wife and the children
(and ayam shaming for you sha).
Lessen all these bragging of “I am the head of this home’,
if truly you’ll be the head,
then,you must be able to think for the family,
foresee for the family,
sensitive to happenings around and able to hear from God concerning the family,
you must be able to function as the real ‘head’ –
be the priest of your home!.
As a real ‘MAN’,
you’re shepherding in the Morning,
relevant in the Afternoon,
watching and on guard at Night.
It’s more than the ” I do I do” you said on the altar,
it has a “till death do us part” in it!.
You can’t afford to fail,
ask God for wisdom,
it is your priority to build your home for peace,
that is the real “I Do”!.
Author: Alao Gabriel Oluwamayowa
I am Alao Gabriel Oluwamayowa.
I’m a lover of God and His word,
I’m a light that shines, a voice that speaks, a pen that writes – all these I do to see others come to the knowledge of my (their) Creator.
I’m a scientist – an agronomist (prospective),
I love creativity and art, I love to commune with God,
I’m jovial, hospitable, yet principled,
I’m that kind of Homo sapiens you’ll love to be with.
Welcome to my Empire!