“Please don’t cut the call.”
Efe looked at Amanze who was busy with his son and she excused herself from the living-room and went into the kitchen where she could have some privacy.
“Are you there?” Adesewa asked.
“Yes. Why are you calling me?”
“I – I heard you want to give Daniel a divorce. Is it true?”
Efe rested against the cupboard and folded her free arm around her waist.
“Why are you asking me? Isn’t that what you wanted from the beginning? You should be happy. I’m sure you guys have been free to sleep around since I’m not in the picture.”
“I’m not happy about it.”
“I hear you.”
Efe hated the way she sounded. She had told herself over and over again that she was over Daniel and had forgiven Adesewa when she apologized some months back. But now. . . Talking to her brought back painful memories and she couldn’t help but lash out. Besides, what was her business if she wanted to end things with Daniel?
Efe heard her sigh on the other end of the phone.
“I know it’s none of my business but I can’t help but feel guilty over your decisions. I feel it’s my fault you and Daniel didn’t work out. I’m really sorry Efe. Please don’t think of divorcing him. Im sure the two of you can work it out.
Think about your daughter.”
She felt her blood boil. “Did you think about her when you decided to sleep with my husband?” She spat out. “Of course not!”
“You know you… never mind. I have stayed away from Daniel since the time I apologized to you. I have changed church. We don’t even talk anymore. I know it’s hard but you shouldn’t remain bitter over what happened. We made a mistake as I’m sure you have made mistakes as well.” Efe recalled she was the one that had brought the whole problem upon herself by sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend. But the truth of that would make her feel bad and she didn’t want to feel that way. Not now.
“What happened to the forgiving and gentle Efe I’ve known?”
Efe snorted. “She realised life was harder than she thought it to be. I’m not Jesus.
You seem to have gotten your life better and moved on but it’s hard for me to do so. I can imagine the both of you together and laughing at me. Is that fair?”
“It’s not. I understand how you feel. I didn’t just happen to get my life together all of a sudden. Infact, I’m still in the process of doing that. I have had a lot of help. God has helped me a lot but it started with me giving my life back to Him again. He’s in total control and I know I don’t have to keep letting the past rule my future ’cause He has forgiven me. Are you still letting yourself get beat up ’cause you feel it’s your fault and you should suffer for it? Efe, stop punishing yourself.”
Efe laughed. “I should give you a round of applause. Have you now turned into a psychologist to be giving me advice? So if you have moved forward why are you calling me? You said you feel guilty… maybe you should take your own advice.”
“I said I feel guilty. But I know better not to. Please think it over properly and pray before making any drastic decisions.”
“Take care.” Efe said and dropped the call angrily and slammed it hard on the kitchen counter.
How dare she call her to be giving her advice? She was in no position to do that.
Why hadn’t she repented before sleeping with her husband? Why was it after Adesewa had succeeded in ruining her marriage that she had come to her senses? It all didn’t make sense. Why wasn’t God looking out for her?
God how could you forgive her? How could you accept her after everything she’s done to me? How?!
Just the same way I can accept you when you sin and repent of your ways. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
“God, it’s not fair.”
Efe placed both hands on her face and cried. She didn’t know how long she sat on the cold, tiled floor. She didn’t hear anyone come in until when Amanze sat beside her on the floor and pulled her to him in a side hug. She cried on his chest and he rubbed her back.
“Shhh. . . It’s going to be okay love. Don’t cry.” He kissed her on her forehead and kept rubbing her back. “Whenever you’re ready to talk I’m here for you.”
She nodded but wasn’t ready to talk.
They remained in that position for a few minutes. Everyone wanted her to think it over. Had they asked if Daniel wanted to still be with her? He hadn’t even called her since she told him about the divorce.
Wasn’t that enough proof that he was no longer interested in her? His mother had even approved. She shifted away from Amanze and wiped the tears from her eyes. She stared at his shirt, seeing all the stain marks on it.
“I’m sorry I stained your shirt with my makeup.”
“That’s not a problem. How are you? What happened?”
“It’s just family issues. I really don’t want to talk about it please.”
He nodded. “Fine. I will accept that for now but don’t feel you can’t talk to me about anything. Okay? I’m here for you and I mean it.”
“Did I tell you how beautiful you looked at the annual year party?”
She chucked. That day she had dressed to impress. Donning on a shimmery black, long gown with silver heels and matching clutch bag. Pamela had done her hair up in an elegant bob. She didn’t need Amanze to tell her how stunning to look but it was good to hear. “You have told me like a hundred times already but a girl can never stop hearing it from her man.”
His look suddenly turned serious and he took her hands in his. “I love you dear. I’m not here to play and neither do I want to. I want you to me happy. I’m so glad I met you and I have you in my life. Please can – can I kiss you?”
She nodded shyly and he moved close and planted a soft kiss on her lips. It was brief but intimate. She knew this was the man she wanted to be with.
The sand in-between her feet was comforting in a weird way. She placed her shirt on the ground and sat on it while staring at the ocean and the sunset. Just looking at such beauty planted romantic thoughts in her head. It was love right from the start. The man loved his bride so much that he was willing to sacrifice his life and everything that he was for her. It wasn’t the Romeo and Juliet love that ended in sorrow but one that brought about righteousness, peace and joy. That opened doors to a relationship with God and the possibility of spending eternal life with Him. In all her life she hadn’t experienced something like that before.
She had always known Jesus to be a prophet of some kind. A man who just went about talking about God but never believed Him to be a Son. She was told of Paul who had been persecuting Christians until Jesus appeared to Him and he believed… just like she now did.
Zainab wrapped her arms around her as the wind blew a cool breeze. Her father had given her a gift that was priceless.
He had told her about God and how much He loved her. A love so deep that you couldn’t see how far it went. It was the kind of love that blew your mind away. The kind of love that made you yearn for more.
She had loved I.K to a fault. But had doubted if she was making the right decision and if I.K and her could have a blissful marriage and have fun . . . Now she knew it was never going to happen.
It probably wouldn’t have worked out if he could bolt at the slightest sign of trouble or any mistake she may have made if they got married. Zainab had never seen him that way, especially with all his tatoos, muscles and bravado. His love for her was not unconditional. And her love for him wasn’t so as well.
There were so many things in her life that needed changes but she was told to take it one at a time. There was no rush…
“But what about my smoking habits?”
Her father smiled and said reassuringly, “God will take care of that. You don’t need to run to all those things when you feel frustrated or sad or whatever. You need only turn to God first.”
There was so much to learn. Her father had told her she would experience joy and peace like no other. A joy that would bubble up from within that she would feel like bursting ’cause it was filling her up.
Zainab smiled. She felt that way now. She felt like running around the beach and shouting at the top of her lungs that God loved her.
Pamela had not regretted her decision thus far. But as days went by she was doubting if she really thought it out properly before doing it. The tears she had shed for the last couple of days could have filled a whole bucket. After her father had told her she was going to abort the baby, she had felt a nudge not to do so. She felt it was her fear of complications or losing her life that made her go against his wishes.
Whatever it was, she had the boldness to stand up to her father and tell him she would fend for herself and her unborn child if he wouldn’t support her.
Her mother had pleaded for her to listen to her father and for her father to take it easy on her. But there had been no use. He was bent on it being his way or nothing else.
“Since you have decided in your heart to go against my wishes all this while and even now, then you cease to new my daughter. You’re an embarrassment to your family. You have brought nothing but shame since your mother gave birth to you. If I have anything to say about it … you would never amount to anything in your entire lifetime.”
Her mother had shouted at the heaps of insult and curse her father had placed on her. Her wrapper loosened as she knelt infront of my father begging him to forgive me. She had also pulled Pamela down on her knees to apologise but the words that came out of her mouth wasn’t what anyone of them would have expected.
“I’m sorry daddy. I didn’t mean to be a nuisance to you or to the family. Please forgive me. I just can’t abort this baby. It feels like I’m committing murder. I’m sorry and I hope one day you would forgive me and be proud of me.”
His face lacked any expression as he walked out of the house. Her mother sobbed. It hurt to see her mother cry and know she was the cause of her pain. But Pamela didn’t have any choice. Now, she was on her own. Who would help her?
Who could she run to? Was God finally going to remember her or abandon her just like her father?
The door to the apartment opened and few minutes later Efe walked into the room they shared looking worn-out.
“Hi.” Pamela greeted. “Long day?”
Efe nodded. “How was yours?”
Pamela shook her head as tears gathered in her eyes. She stared down at her fingers. “Not so good. I’m pregnant.”
“What? Who?” Efe rushed to her side within seconds and sat next to her.
Pamela took a long time narrating her story and how her family had practically left her on her own after she declined getting an abortion.
“My life is ruined.”
“No, Pamela don’t say that. Your life is not ruined. You have me. I’m not going to abandon you. Have you told the father yet?”
She nodded. “I told him. At first he was claiming ignorance and then he said if it’s his child he didn’t care. I could do whatever I want with it. He’s engaged to be married. I’m just a fool. I wanted my career so badly that I did stupid things. I brought all this pain upon myself. What would I do now?”
“Whatever you decide to do.”
“I don’t know what I want to do. But I’m going to keep the baby. NYSC finishes in in a few months and I don’t know how I’m going to survive. What if they don’t retain me? Who would want to hire me knowing that I’m pregnant?”
“It’s all going to be fine Pam. Just believe.”
“Please pray for me Efe. Pray that God will help me.” She started again with the tears as Efe held her in her arms.
Worthy of every song we could ever sing
Worthy of all the praise we could ever bring
Worthy of every breath we could ever breathe
We live for you
Jesus a name above every other name
Jesus the only one that could ever save
Worthy of every breathe we could ever breathe
We live for you
We live for you
Holy there is no one like you
There is none beside you
Open up my eyes in wonder
Show me who you are
And fill me with your heart
And lead me in your love
To those around me
I will build my life, upon your love
It is a firm foundation
I will put my trust, in you oh lord
And I will not be shaken
She tossed her phone on the bed and sat on it while letting the words speak to her soul and minister to her. It had been a long day with her emotions running on the low. First, it had started with the leading to leave her company. Something she would never have seen coming. Then the second was her conversation with Efe that made her look like an hypocrite.
The call had been a difficult one for her to make. She had thought better about calling Daniel ’cause she didn’t want to had any dealings with him again. It was better that way.
But calling Efe?
Adesewa had felt bad about the whole thing and the sarcasm and bitterness in Efe’s voice had been stinging. She hoped and prayed that Efe would change her mind and fight for her marriage.
Adesewa remembered the love she had seen in Efe’s eyes all those years back. How she adored him and Daniel had spoken nicely of her. Deep within her she knew God wasn’t done with their relationship. And He wasn’t done with His plans for her. Ever since He told her to leave her company she also felt Him telling her to trust Him.
She took of her red stilettos and placed them at the side of her bed then she took off her ear-rings and necklace. Trusting God was easier said then done. She had no idea what she was going to do for a living, where her next income was coming from, what she would tell her parents. They were so proud of her and high hopes for expansion of her company. They were even willing to talk to their friends to do business with her. And then now she would just up and leave?
“God is this really what you want me to do? It’s very hard for me. I need grace. I need to know the next step to take.”
Are you waiting to know the next step and waiting to see if it’s good before you trust? The question plagued her mind.
And from there more things seemed to come to mind to bother her. She got up and went straight to her bed-stand and took her bible. She sat back on the bed and flipped it open. God led her to different scriptures in the book of Matthew and Proverbs to read.
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
She swallowed hard; she was at conflict with her emotions. God wanted her not to worry but just trust Him with her life and so Adesewa knew she had to follow His leading and step out. In her heart she felt at peace but her head told her doing so would be one of the most foolish things she could do. Despite the toggle, she had to trust God with her life even if she didn’t know what the next step was.
It dawned on her that she had surrendered her choice of a spouse to Him, knowing fully well she was incapable of choosing based on her own wisdom. But she had left out her business life to herself because she felt more than capable to do it.
God wanted all of her, not just a part.
“God I’m sorry. I trust You and in any way my trust in You is wavering, please help me. Give me grace. I trust You with my all.”
This was one of the hardest decisions she was making. She made her way to her laptop bag and took out her laptop and powered it on. She had a ton of letters to type.
TO BE CONTINUED….. Please Leave a Comment Behind….
Author: Temitope Ogunyinka
Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages. Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life. She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.
Read More of my stories on http://www.lifegodandlove.com