I screamed in annoyance as tears began to fall from my eyes. After about two minutes, I stood up and managed to go clean up including the floor that David had messed up with his vomit. He was still laying there and I couldn’t do anything. I just sat on the couch and watched as he snored in his deep sleep. I didn’t know what to do with David. He all of a sudden just changed. He gets drunk, he hits me and I won’t be surprised if he messes with other women while he’s out. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about it, not even my family except one of my friends, Vanessa who I trusted with my life.
Vanessa had always been like a sister to me, the one who was always there in times of my trouble. I was never left alone in any challenging situation. I picked up my phone, left the sitting room to the bedroom before calling Vanessa. It was about one o’clock in the morning. I knew it was late but I needed to talk to someone. I called her and immediately she responded.
“Isabella, what’s up? Are you okay?” Vanessa said in a sleepy tone.
I told her I was fine and about what was up with David. She only told me not to worry that she would be at my house the next day. We talked for a while before I bade her goodnight. I headed for the sitting room with the duvet and pillows in our bedroom and used it to warm David up while he was sleeping on the floor. I couldn’t wake him up when he was drunk neither could I carry him so that was all I could do for him that night. I retired for my room and sat up on my bed thinking and thinking. I couldn’t sleep until it was about five o’clock in the morning. Luckily for me, that day was a public holiday so I didn’t have to bother going to work.
I woke up about fifteen minutes to eleven that morning feeling really tired and weak to even get out of bed. I managed to say a prayer before jumping out. After using the washroom, I went into the sitting room to find David still sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb him so I went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast instead. I made some sauce with rice and set it aside before going to clean the house. I was almost done when I saw him stand up, taking the pillows and duvet with him to the room. I only watched from the corner where I had been cleaning the side stool. Immediately he left, I waited for about five minutes before heading to the room to see what he was up to. I guessed that he must have entered the shower since that was the first thing he liked to do whenever he woke up in the morning. I entered and I guessed right, his clothes were on the floor and I could hear the shower running. I picked up his clothes and put them into the laundry basket, then headed to the kitchen to dish out his food. Just then, I heard the bell ring and since I was expecting Vanessa, I guessed it was her. I peeped through the door hole and found Vanessa standing there. I was so happy she was around. After opening the door and greeting each other, we proceeded to the kitchen. I made Vanessa wait for me while I went to set David’s food on the dining table.
Minutes later, I went into our bedroom to let David know that his food was on the dining table and as I was about to leave, he held me back. He apologized as usual for what he had done earlier and asked me to forgive him. I didn’t even object or say anything. I only nodded my head, after all, it wasn’t the first time. He hugged me and kissed me on the forehead before letting me go. I finished up the cleaning and let Vanessa know that I wanted to quickly take a shower so she waited for me in the sitting room.
After I was done taking a shower and dressing up, I went into the sitting room and found David eating on the dining table while Vanessa was sitting on the couch trying to keep herself busy. It was an awkward moment when I walked in. Not that, Vanessa hadn’t met David or they didn’t sort of know each other but it just felt a certain type of way. Maybe it was just me feeling that way after what happened the night before. I joined Vanessa and asked if she wanted to eat so I could dish out her food but she only smiled and said she came for me and not for anything else. We couldn’t really talk much about anything neither could we discuss about what I really wanted to talk about so I asked questions concerning her, her family and Job. Although she wasn’t married, she still lived with her parents.
In less than six minutes, David was done eating and he stood up carrying the tray to the kitchen. I went up to him and tried to help him with it but he insisted that he would take it since I had a visitor. So I let him and headed back to meet Vanessa. I still wasn’t relaxed because I knew David would be leaving the house soon to some place again that I knew nothing of. He came in through the sitting room and headed to our bedroom and just like I guessed, he came out with his car keys, walking back to the kitchen where the back door was situated. I stood up again and followed him to the kitchen before asking him where he was going to and as usual, his reply was;
“I’ll be back soon, just take care of the house.”
I pleaded and asked David if he cared for me to know where he was going to so I could at least have an idea if anything happened to him but his reply again was;
“Are you hoping something bad would happen to me? I will be back soon, don’t worry.”
Immediately he said this, I knew there was nothing I could do again so I watched him leave the house. I went back in and apologized to Vanessa for leaving her behind but I knew she understood. She assured me that nothing would go wrong and to keep faith. I told her that I was not only uncomfortable about him getting into trouble or being in danger but I felt in my heart that he was cheating on me. I told her that I was scared that my marriage would come to an end. I told her how scared I was because I thought maybe it was my fault we didn’t have children. I told that I was scared of so many things while tears were rolling down from my eyes. Vanessa held me close and consoled me.
“You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Haba! How can you be saying all these things? Your husband is not cheating on you, I’m sure of that. Even if he has changed, I’m certain he still loves you not to hurt you. And how would you know if it is your fault that you can’t get pregnant? There can be many reasons you haven’t gotten pregnant. Don’t just lose hope like that now. I mean if the worse comes to the worse, there are many ways you can have children now. Everything will be alright my dear. Just give it time.” Vanessa said.
There were so many things I wanted to say but words failed me at that moment. Only tears could come out of it all. I thought about a lot of things. How good I tried to be to my husband despite the fact that he violated me several times. It was because I loved him. I loved David with all my heart and hoped that our marriage would never end in divorce. I still wanted to have children with him. I still wanted to celebrate ten, twenty, thirty years’ anniversary with him. All I wanted was the old David that would declare his love every single day for me. The David that would never even in his dreams try to hit me. The David that would listen. The David that cared. I used to hear from many people that marriage cannot be the way it was at the beginning but I knew that our marriage shouldn’t be the way it was either. I knew and heard about so many people way older than me in marriage who enjoyed every single moment of their blissful marriage. Why does mine have to be any different? What was I doing wrong?