How Can I End an Ungodly Relationship?
First and foremost i will love to start this topic by saying that God ALWAYS and at all times present us with the truth without any iota of uncertainty. The Holy Spirit hints us sometimes, that we are threading on a wrong part, the decision of whether to move ahead with God’s will or continue in such relationship is left to us.
A practical example is the one shared by a lady below:
“I was headed for trouble and I knew it but I kept walking toward it. I had asked God months before to release me from what had been on my mind heavily for days. God had released me from him. We hadn’t spoken in upwards of four months. But here I was thinking about him, missing “that old thing.” I kept telling myself to let it go but one day before I could talk myself out of it, I texted him.
That text was the beginning of a spiral so quickly moving downward that by the end, my head was spinning and I was dazed. We texted each other every day for weeks like no time had passed between us. I made sure to make mention frequently of my growing connection with God and my celibacy standards according to my faith. He didn’t really respond. I glossed over that telltale sign thinking, “Oh, he understands. He seems like he’s changed, anyway.”
He hadn’t changed because two months into us talking again, we ended up breaking my vow of celibacy (the state of abstaining from sexual relations). I say WE because I was there. I was a willing participant. I had abandoned my standards for the affection of a man who never respected me or my standards to begin with. Silly me.
I was overwhelmed afterward, knowing what we had could not continue. He wanted sex and I wanted him but I wanted my relationship with God more. I also knew I had failed God and myself in a promise to honor my temple. How had I gone so wrong? A moment of loneliness caused me to suffer such heartache, pain and guilt and it was my fault. I cried for days and felt like I had failed miserably. But in the midst of it all God’s mercy prevailed”
=> You might have made a very bad decision in a past relationship or presently still in such bondage and you don’t know how you can free yourself from this.. You can still repent, ask God’s forgiveness and don’t make the same mistake again. You have to know that you are worth more and that you love God more than to give yourself away to any ol’ body.”
=> Yes, sometimes we do fall into sexual sin because of our own careless and unchecked emotions and feelings, but those naughty mistakes need not define us. We can get back up if we truly ask forgiveness of our sins, search within yourself the reason for you falling into such sin (this could be due to loneliness, bored, sex-addiction etc), try and adjust yourself of those possible factors and behaviors and flee those things that caused you to fall. We CAN be overcomers.
The lady in the practical example above is a witness. She was wallowing in the guilt of a bad decision while God was trying to show her that her worth is in Him, not random relationships. She sought the face of God on the situation once again… And that time around, she made it clear to her ex that they need not keep in touch again.
You should not keep in touch or continue in a relationship with someone who had no regard for God or your decisions concerning your own body which is God’s temple.
You should not continue in a relationship that would drive on your carnal nature and demote your spiritual nature. You ought not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever no matter how good a time you might have had together in the past.(2 Corinthians 6:14) No matter how easy it was to talk to him. No matter how affectionate he seemed toward you.
He might later try reaching over to you to persuade you on re-thinking on the decision you’ve made. They WILL surely try you, you know! Just to see if they can shake you from your decision. But when they do, be sure to take your stand for good.
(You might love to read this article also: “Are You His Friend or Girlfriend)
=> It’s hard extremely hard sometimes, taking that bold step to follow Christ instead of our natural desire for affection and attention. No matter how holy or saved we may claim to be, if we are honest with and about ourselves, we want to feel wanted. We rationalize why this guy isn’t so bad even though he doesn’t have a relationship with Christ and doesn’t honor our commitment to Him. We force ourselves convincingly to believe that he really is a good match and that “relationships are all about compromise.” But deep within yourself, you have no peace within you, wondering if you’ve made the right decision, secretly knowing that you didn’t because God already revealed this man’s heart to you and the outcome of the situation. Sometimes we don’t want to know what we already know so we suppress the truth because if we don’t we’ll be compelled to face the part we’ve played in our coming undone. So we keep trying to “make it work” by sacrificing our standards one by one until we one day, we look in the mirror and can’t even recognize ourselves anymore.
You need to ask yourself this question always like “Are you willing to forfeit your temple, your relationship with God, your self-worth for the attention of a man who values NONE of the above?”
We have to be very open and honest within our-self and then open and honest with God, asking His forgiveness first and foremost for seeking affirmation outside of Him. And thereafter you need to begin a DAILY – moment-to-moment, even – walk of purity. Not just in abstaining from sexual intimacy outside of marriage but in guarding your heart with all diligence.
Now, You have to pray daily that whatever emotions You have, whatever feelings may ever begin to rise for the next guy that comes along, You’ll be able to keep yourself in line with God’s Word and will.
1 Kings 11 reminds me of why God gives us clear instructions not to marry non-christians (unbeliever). This is a hot-burning issue for many Christians and surprisingly some see nothing wrong with it. But God’s word is clear in 2 Corinthians 6:14 – “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Solomon was the wisest man that ever lived and He walked with God and followed God’s commands. That is until he got involved with women who God had clearly instructed him and the children of Israel not to marry in 1 Kings 9:1-9 and Deuteronomy 7:1-4. In 1 Kings 11:4,6 we see the effect his disobedience to God had on him – “his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been…So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord ; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.” Solomon went as far as building altars for these women so that they could worship their gods. And he even joined in. This all – wise king suddenly became a fool (as defined in the Bible) all because of disobedience.
Once we hearken to God’s voice, we can never go wrong. But the choice is ours. Solomon made the wrong one and paid dearly for it. His example is why you and I should make the right one. I promise you wont regret it!